#3

Things are changing a lot right now. I’m scared of what’s happening and I’m scared of who the future will be.

But of course there’s always that something inside of me.

It says, “It will work out,” it reminds me of all the times I truly beat my own doubts.

I’m worried for the future, but you’re worried for me.

Don’t be.

You’re moving on to a new part of your life, and of course I am too, but not in the same way as you.

I feel distracted and tired and like I could talk to you for hours and still not feel at peace.

We’re different- in inverse directions.

Don’t you see how they’re still surprised by me?

But what if I get lost in the end and everything makes less and less sense than it ever did.

What if I’m left on the curb with nothing to learn and everything to lose.

What if I stopped breathing again? I don’t intend to.

But I’m starting to tremble.

What if the spiral is too deep this time? What if it’s a whirl pool?

What if I just don’t want to tell anyone that.. I’m stuck.

Maybe I don’t want to know how this story plays out, maybe I’ll break myself apart again.

I look exactly like the type of kid this would happen to.

You said so yourself.

I’m still breathing, I’m still eating ( sometimes too much, even), but it’s hard.

I feel it slipping away.

It’s hard to find the reason in going on another day.

But hey, I’m here.

For now.