Author: Forgotten Shoes

This isn’t goodbye

…unless you really want it to be.

I could read each word

I could count each line

But I’ve got a feeling that none of that would ease my mind.

Ive spent the last year writing it out

On paper

On a keyboard

On my phone

But this end feels like a sword

Through the chest.

These words and names dont mean much

until you read between the lines

Try to imagine their eyes

Look for the spaces between their lies

If all we write is some form of poetry

I hope you’re willing to show to me

What it is that we’re hiding from

What it is that you are

Where it was that you fell

I know you mean well

And so do i

But if i read one more “goodbye”…

This isn’t goodbye

Though it feels like it may be

This isn’t goodbye

And though that might sound crazy,

This isn’t goodbye,

because i wont leave these words behind.

To say adieu

Is probably smart to do

To let them know that you wont be back

To show that its time for you to pack

To bid farewell

Is sure, good, and swell

But where will you go?

Should I ask?

Should I know?

And what if I’m not ready for you to go?

Our time was taken, robbed, mistaken

And i guess,

i just want you to know that…

This isn’t goodbye

This isn’t adieu

This isn’t farewell

Because I’ll remember you.

With Covered Smiles

We try our best 

To be hopeful 

To find rest

We count the days

Up and down again

It’s like a haze

We look towards the light

We stare it down and hope it knows

It couldn’t take us in a fight

We hope for the end

The moment that we’re free to go where we please

And when we finally see our friends

We ask for kindness

As this was the first time 

We had to covet being mindless

With covered smiles

We give the world a chance 

To remember 

To recover

To end.

Should I be asking for your sacrifice?

Should I forget we ever tried?

Should this be the end of the line

That I’ve been scared of the whole time?

Are you seeing what I mean?

Do you get that it’s not just you?

Do you realize what I’m trying to do?

I don’t wanna say it

But whichever way you play it

it’s unfair.

Maybe you shouldn’t even care

Maybe I should just stay out of your hair

Maybe it doesn’t matter

That he was there

But I won’t understand

I don’t know which hand

To hold out for you

Is there something else I should do?

I don’t wanna ruin this for you

But I don’t think you see that it’s not easy for me today

Go play your games, waste your time

It’s okay

You don’t have to worry about mine.

A pile of laundry on my floor

I can’t even look at it anymore

There’s a lot to do

But how to get through

This month alone

I feel a bit sick

But maybe this is the trick

Where you pull your mask

And they all laugh

And then the curtain’s drawn

I think by the end of this song

It’ll be dawn

That’s how it feels

Lately nothing is real

If I could take

Just a little break

It would be nice

But just put me in rice

And I’ll move along

What would a break even look like

When every day is nothing

What would my face even change to

If I could hug you

I hardly recognize myself

Not even fame and wealth

Could guarantee an end

Or good health.

“I’ve nothing to say to you, but it’s to you that I’d like to say thing nothing”

-Roland Barthes

Am I a tornado?

Am I a spinning top?

Am I a blank piece of paper, ready to be ripped up?

Am I asking these questions?

Am I looking for answers?

Or am I a mess of what once was, am I a mess of who I was?

I’m not sure of the truth

I’m even more scared of the lie

How many tables can be turned before I start to cry?

Are you hearing my prayers?

Are you seeing me with your eyes?

Or am I just a smudge on your paper, a messed-up call-back-later?

Am I a curse?

Or am I a friend?

Am I searching for an answer, or just a game of pretend?

Do I really have hope?

Or is this expectation?

Are we really gonna move, or am I more stuck than a broken fire station?

I wanna tell you the truth

More than anything

But it’s harder to say when there’s hardly a way

For me to understand it

For me to hold it in my hand it

is too hard

It is too far

And I’m searching for an answer I may never find.

None of my favorite dresses fit

And I’m done with it

I’m waiting for the day when I can throw a fit

Again

It’s getting out of hand

I can’t stand

The way

That everything was going strong

But now,

Can someone explain

What I’m doing

What I’m doing wrong?

None of my favorite jeans fit

And I’m fed up with it

How much longer until I dig my own big pit

In the back of my hand

In my Own backyard

Or down the middle of this bleeding scar

I can’t

Go much longer

I can’t

Get any stronger

here

Cuz all my favorite dresses are ripped

and I’m done with it

And every little detail has gone to shit again

It’s gone again

How much longer until I throw a fit?

“You can’t be done with it”

You say as you see my eyes fill up with it

It’s fine

Yeah, sure, it’s fine

I’ll be better next time.

You probably think I’m doing my best

But would you hate me if I left the nest?

My heart is beating right out of my chest

I’m afraid the song will end

before I hear it the best.

I could count all the stars on one hand

But it washes back as the tide covers the sand

I feel the people are ditching their plans

And heaven knows there’s no safe place to land.

Could you take that?

Go back, erase that.

Tell me there’s something I was supposed to write back there.

It feels like all I’m typing disappears in the air.

If I asked the wind, it’d say,

“There are no words there.”

Lost in time

Like we’re stuck in a spaceship

I can’t hear you

Everything is wasted

What am I gonna do when I wake up?

Carry me from my bed to the black top

I can’t do this

It’s too much to handle

Lost in time and

I can’t hold his hand still

Where are all my dreams when I wake up?

I feel like all my fears are boiling right up

Spring was coming

Concerts were arriving

Plans were made

and things were So exciting.

Lost in time

I should have known better.

But now I tell you

Time is sure to look up.