#13

How to deal with disappointment

I still don’t know

I wish there was a cure, a doctor’s appointment

That could fix this

That could dry my tears and give me a second chance

That could hold my hand despite its fist

That could spare me more than a sorrowful glance

I feel crushed and bruised and broken

I feel lost and hurt and torn

But no one hears words so soft-spoken

My sleeves are wet and crinkled and worn

Maybe I found my third thorn

I wish I could tell you how terribly I’ve felt all morning

How I’ve replayed every moment leading up to that call

How I’ve wondered and wondered if you loved me at all

How your sisters and prettier and so tall

How I’m just the silly one that never helped you at all.

Dad, I’m sorry,

about all this

I know you told me

not to worry about it

But when my sister curses my name and calls me a waste it’s hard to imagine

That you’d struggle to fill my place

I don’t know how much longer I can hide

I want you to see the tears and realize my regret

But knowing your humor and jokes full of my expense, id rather die

Than let you see me cry.